It's time

I joined weight watchers yesterday. I got on the scale and realized I weigh the same now as I did the day of my induction with Madelyn. That was a harsh wake up call. It is time to change, it's time to do something for myself. It won't be easy though. Everyday I will have to decide to stick with it. I can do this. Overall I have almost 60 pounds to lose. I can't believe I let it get that bad.

Somedays, being a mom is the least fun thing I can think of

We haven't slept since Friday night. Madelyn is teething pretty hard right now and just won't sleep. We're up every 30 minutes to hour. I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution, but I just don't think it's going to work as long as she's teething like this. She doesn't nap anymore either and that makes her grumpy, so she cries all day. I'm ready to pull every last hair out of my head. What happened to my sweet happy smiling girl who slept all night? She disappeared at three months old and never came back.

She has cut back her daytime nursing to every 4 hours or so, but the night feeding is a nightmare. I know she could go all night without nursing, she just doesn't. She just wakes up and can't soothe herself back to sleep. She's using my like a pacifier at night, only sucking long enough to fall back asleep. I wish she would take a pacifier.

I've decided the next baby will not nurse while laying in bed with me and I'm going to make Brandon get up with the next one. Since I'm breastfeeding I thought that Brandon couldn't help me at night, so I never asked him to or made him. Now in hindsight, I wish she would accept him at night in place of me and allow him to soothe her back to sleep. Instead, she screams and cries until we give up and I take her. I don't think it would be so bad if she was waking once or twice a night, but this 6-10 times a night stuff is literally killing me. I walk around like a zombie all day every day. I can't function. I'm starting to feel resentment towards Madelyn and Brandon. I hate that I feel that way. It's causing a lot of strain on our marriage. I try not to talk about it with anyone for fear of judgment, but we really are having a hard time.

We have no time for the two of us anymore. We knew our time together would be limited once Madelyn was born, but we didn't realize that we would NEVER spend another moment alone. I imagined that she would go to bed at night and we would have some time to spend together. Not so though because she's no sleeping through the night, so 95% of the time our time together is very short lived and she's fussing again and I have to go get her. I really honestly thought this would be better by now. She's 6 months old, shouldn't things be getting easier instead of harder?

Being Sick Sucks!

I hate when I get sick. It's miserable. I feel even worse now though because my sweet baby is sick. It's driving me crazy that I can't give her anything to help her feel better. I know she feels even more crappy than I do and it makes me want to cry. She's been extra fussy for days and doesn't sleep very well...not like she was sleeping so great to start with, but alas, I am tired. I'm still working this week because I have no time off left after maternity leave. I really want a vacation though. Sorry, that's getting off topic.

We have what I think is a viral cold, it could be worse. I've been sick for almost a week now and Madelyn has had it for 3 days. Thank you TSA for sending the plague home with my husband to share with us! Maybe one day he won't have to deal with the public...

I'm blogging again!

Not that I was a serious Blogger before, but now that I have a baby I feel like I have something to blog about. I'm hoping I can bring some humor into parenting and admit all my first time mom screw ups. Hang in there, I might get good at this eventually. ;)

I leave you with a picture of my girl. :)

The next carseat I plan to buy

This is the Sunshine Radian XTSL. It's the next seat I plan to buy for Madelyn. It goes in the car using the LATCH system and can be used rear facing up to 45 pounds. It has a low profile so it is easier for children to get in and out of. It can fit a child up to 80 pounds and still use the 5 point harness! It folds flat for easy storage and transportation. One unique feature is that you can fit 3 of these seats across one bench seat. That makes it possible to travel with 3 kids in carseats in a sedan with all children riding in the back! How amazing is that? Yes, it's a bit pricey at nearly $300, but it could be the only seat you ever buy.

A new lifestyle

Hubs and I are finally going to start doing something about our weight, together. That's been the biggest hurdle for me, he hasn't really wanted to work out with me. We started walking on Monday. We walked a little over a mile Monday and again last night. Tonight it will be too dark when we get home to walk, but we're going to the gym. We've already started cutting soft drinks out of our lives, which is a really hard thing for me to do. I'm so addicted to anything carbonated. We've switched to juice for the time being and hot tea, I know we should be drinking water, we're getting there.

I've been cooking at home much more too. So that helps in our battle with our waistlines. Together we've gained about 100 pounds in the last 6 years. I'm so fed up with looking the way I look and feeling less confident than I once did. I know Brandon feels the same way. It sucks when you wake up one morning and suddenly, none of your clothes fit. WTF!? When did THAT happen? It doesn't help that sizes keep getting smaller too. What was once a size 0 is now being passed off as a size 5. You don't even want to know what they've done to the real size 5. I'll be posting my progress as I go. Not Brandon's though, I don't think he would like that much.

Starting weight: 154 pounds
Starting size: I don't even know anymore

Goal weight: 110
Goal size: maybe a 7? depends on what a 7 is when I get there.

Vintage Dinner and Bakeware...my newest obsession

I have fallen in LOVE with vintage dishes and Pyrex! My favorites are the pinks and blues, but all vintage is wonderful. I've got to order some pieces for myself on ebay after Christmas. This is what I'm going to start asking for on birthdays and holidays.

The dishes are called Crinoline Hazel Atlas. I adore them! They look so delicate and feminine. My husband would never allow me to use them for anything, but I would still love to have some. I just love Pyrex dishes, I use them all the time. I would love to add some vintage Pyrex to my collection. Those my husband would allow me to use. There are even some blue ones that have little white snowflakes on them. How cute is that!?

I just wanted to share my latest obsession. =)